It resonates in me very strong what Dr Shefali says about having kids. She says most of us, if not all of us, have kids out of egotistical reasons. Linked to what WE want, what WE need, what WE desire, but not truly seeing, what having a kid REALLY is: The most transformational mission you will ever embrace, if you dare to see it that way. The portal to evolve to your highest self, if you dare to move out of your comfort zone.
No judgement here, this is my humble offer to you. I just want to disclosure how misguided is the “Parenting” subject in our current society.
No one says I want to have a kid, to challenge myself and start over. I am ready to see myself in his/her mirror and deconstruct all my childhood conditioning. None of us think that way. Because we are trained to see kids as the “next thing” in a marriage. The next “achievement”, we have the job, we have the car, we have the house, we are ready! Let’s have some kids! Well sounds hilarious! But it is sad actually. Because it means we don’t understand how “divine” having a child is. How challenging is the role of a parent, it is such a big opportunity to wake up, to break free of patterns, to move on in life, and we diminish it to a very simplistic terms of you know, it was the next step in our marriage. Then we ask, why is our world so broken ?
I am guilty of having a child out of selfish reasons. I wanted a child because after 5 years of marriage I was ready to be a mom, or so I thought.
Let’s do this, let’s stop pretending we are the adults and that we know what we are doing with our kids. Let’s face that we don’t know, that we are doing with them what our parents did with us, or what society dictates, or what our selfish self covered all in false “love” is saying. Let all that out, and start seeing our kids for who they are. Not for what WE want them to be. Ask yourself: why did I have this specific child? What is he/she telling me? What are my biggest challenges when dealing with her or him?. Start decoding the message. Each specific child arrived to us for A reason, a very unique one. To show us, a part of us that needs to be developed. So WE need to be very attuned to what the message is. It doesn’t matter if your kid is already in his/her teens years, or if she/he is a baby or a toddler. It is the same. The message is there, we need to open the envelope.
No judgment here to the way we all were raised, I am just saying: look at the world around us, does it look like that we know what we are doing ? Is the world in such a beautiful stage that we can all get together and relax? No! Of course It is not! So we need to question the way WE all were raised. It didn’t work, otherwise the world would be a better place. So let’s do it different with our kids. So they can create a different world. A world of empathy and consciousness, a world that praise the heart and the spirituality.
I have the most uncomfortable time reading these two books: The conscious parent, I read it when my first kid was born nearly 3 years ago; The Awakened family, I just ready it, at the end of my second pregnancy. I said I have an “uncomfortable” time, because it reveled to me how poorly prepare I was to be a mom. It took me nearly 3 years to digest “The conscious parent” message. And it will take forever before I could call myself A conscious parent. But it worths the effort.
I highly recommend to you to get any of these two books and read it. It will change your life, they changed mine for good.
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