One more year here I am. I barely start to understand what life is about. However I chose abundance to write this down.
Abundance, as I am graceful for just being around, for having in each breath the opportunity of doing things different, to start over. For having met so many amazing people in my journey. More now than ever in my life I see the blessing of having beautiful friends, really mindful people around me. Most of the time they see what I can’t, they ask me what I haven’t asked myself and they help me out in this process called life. Graceful I met my best friend and biggest supporter, my husband. Graceful I was blessed with two little beautiful souls, so honored I feel that I was chosen to usher them. All started with them.
I don’t care about “the number” however I am aware right now at my mid 30’s that I am not the same I was a decade ago. I understand the world a bit more, and much better, I understand myself more now, than yesterday.
Still long way to go, or so I think, too much to learn and too much to do. But that isn’t really my motivation. My motivation is finding my own motivation, to keep going everyday with that sparkle with that light that illuminates all I do. Understanding that this isn’t IT, that I am part of something bigger. That’s what moves me. The discovery of each lesson. I have had “failures” I have been mistaken, I have had uncomfortable times. Life in it’s simplify or complexity has put me through different “events” ones easier to swallow than others. But once I am over it, I am braver than before and I feel stronger and so much alive. So I am graceful for all my “falls”.
I embrace my changing mind. I follow my gut. I am not use to, so I am opening myself to it. So much freedom I am finding in it. To speak up my true, to say I am changing my course, to acknowledge that there isn’t right or wrong for me anymore. Just one way or the other. Not to obsess anymore with right or wrong decisions, they are mine in this time frame and tomorrow might or might not be. It doesn’t matter anymore really.
I am graceful for the courage that lays in me, the kind of courage that puts me in difficult situations, feeling sometimes awkward but the same courage that helps me to move through it and overcome my own fears.
I am graceful for being just me, so imperfect, so full of hope, ideas, and willing to really make a difference in this world. I don’t know in the macro but in the micro I am really doing my best to live a meaningful life. To live in such a way that If tomorrow I don’t wake up here in this “planet” I can feel I did it the best way I could, no matter what. That’s me, that’s my mantra. I am just doing it now the best way I can, the best way I know. That’s the energy I put in all, because who knows when that last breath will come.
So I just acknowledge the roll of every single situation I have gone through, I embrace all that has happened to me. Reaching this point was hard, really hard. There are moments in time that I didn’t enjoy, memories/situations that perhaps years ago I would prefer to change/erase. But all “good” and “bad” sum up and the result is my now. So here I am at my mid 30’s, exactly where I am needed the most.
Thank you God thank you life.